Ms. Nidhi Jha holds a masters degree in social work from Delhi University. She has over 12 years of experience working with children with development issues. She has extensive experience counselling adolescent children both in India and abroad. She has worked with children’s services of the U.K. government and delivered services for children in need. She also conducts personality enhancement workshops for children and adolescents.

If you would like to ask our expert a question, please write to us at content@neevmagazine.co.in. All submissions will be treated as anonymous.


Question:

I am dark. I was born here in UK. My parents belong to India. Most of my classmates are white British. I have very few friends in my class. I feel aloof and lonely. They call me gorilla, blackie and other names. I am disgusted and hate myself. I don’t want to go to school but I get a scolding from my parents every time I miss school.  I don’t know what do.

 

Answer:

Dear friend

You are an individual, A God’s unique creation endowed with distinct qualities, abilities, capacities and strengths. It is very important to love yourself first before expecting others to appreciate you. Feel happy and confident about who you are if you want other people to acknowledge, accept and appreciate you. Never feel inferior about your skin colour or your background because neither of them can determine your personality or your attributes. Remember, people are known for their deeds, achievements and their contribution to society, not for their skin colour and background.

So, just promise yourself to throw this at the back of your mind and work towards self-improvement. Avoiding school is like running away from a situation and I am very sure you are not a coward. Face the problem at hand bravely and I am sure you will emerge a winner. It might take some time for your classmates to accept you as someone they can easily identify with. You don’t have to feel disheartened. You can win friends with the right attitude towards yourself and others. Try to be helpful and pleasant. Study hard and perform well so you get noticed in your class as someone bright and capable. Make few friends but choose good and decent ones. You may choose to ignore the comments from notorious people and stay away from them. If things get out of hand, talk to someone senor like your teacher or elder friend and take their advice on reporting the matter.

I hope this was helpful. Keep smiling. Cheers!


Question:

I like a girl in my class. She is very good looking. But she never talks to me. I have tried to talk to her but she doesn’t pay attention to me. Instead she is always surrounded with other boys.  Those boys are bad and notorious. I want to hit those boys and tell her that I like her. What to do.

 

Answer:

My dear friend

There is nothing wrong in liking someone. When we get attracted to a person, which is very natural for your age, we need to be very careful in our expression of this feeling. As you have shared, you have tried to talk to her but she has not paid attention. I don’t think it would be right for you to confess your feelings to her at this stage. Try to be friendly to her while maintaining your decency.

Do not even think of hitting those boys as this will make matters worse. If she is wise, she will eventually realise who is worth her friendship. Don’t think too much about those boys. Try to be an honest friend and let her decide which way she wants to go. Remember, she is not a battle to be won. The ideal situation for you would be a mutual liking. If that develops, it is good. If that doesn’t, don’t take things too hard. Nothing is permanent in this world. Appreciate the good in you and move on.

Wish you all the best!

Read this in Hindi

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